I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
