dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize