i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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