I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
