Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up

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  (847): Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up http://tfl.nu/pfce
  Replies (3) Good night (1042) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??

  (817): View more from Texas

  dude, everything can mix, this is college.

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  (214): does wine, beer, and vodka mix well?? (817): dude, everything can mix, this is college. http://tfl.nu/mqi0
  Replies (24) Good night (6141) Bad night (733)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like

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  (480): She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like http://tfl.nu/mlp3
  Replies (54) Good night (11247) Bad night (1344)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.

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  (952): Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover. http://tfl.nu/sdyg
  Replies (15) Good night (3966) Bad night (1127)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day

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  (480): She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day http://tfl.nu/vsgx
  Replies (4) Good night (3564) Bad night (875)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...

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  (202): Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again... http://tfl.nu/efr4
  Replies (5) Good night (3023) Bad night (765)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.

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  (570): As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen. http://tfl.nu/y5cy
  Replies (1) Good night (667) Bad night (2474)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!

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  (757): then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?! http://tfl.nu/zl1v
  Replies (14) Good night (994) Bad night (4098)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself

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  (818): Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself http://tfl.nu/kb63
  Replies (8) Good night (2703) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.

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  (773): You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud. http://tfl.nu/imj6
  Replies (6) Good night (1634) Bad night (378)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.

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  (902): Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN. http://tfl.nu/l8um
  Replies (9) Good night (1934) Bad night (639)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back

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  (540): Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back http://tfl.nu/kuz3
  Replies (3) Good night (708) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Use "feeling words"

  (1-317): View more from Indiana

  Yay

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  (317): Use "feeling words" (1-317): Yay http://tfl.nu/y3ss
  Replies (3) Good night (637) Bad night (305)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"

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  (831): I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy" http://tfl.nu/ej7w
  Replies (2) Good night (536) Bad night (272)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.

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  (902): Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom. http://tfl.nu/6cke
  Replies (9) Good night (1156) Bad night (353)

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