she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
How external is "for external use only"?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
