No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
This gyro tastes like lonliness
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I supernannyed him into submission