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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  Can we have unprotected sex soon?

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES

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• 

  25 People Confess The Sex Acts They Were Super Ashamed Of

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians

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• (347): View more from New York

  I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.

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• 

  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

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• (801): View more from Utah

  Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.

  (682): View more from Texas

  Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.

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