Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it http://tfl.nu/rn2p
  Replies (9) Good night (1147) Bad night (1438)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you. http://tfl.nu/8wpn
  Replies (7) Good night (1231) Bad night (3457)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate. http://tfl.nu/wnmg
  Replies (11) Good night (1058) Bad night (5106)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis. http://tfl.nu/8mhm
  Replies (9) Good night (1787) Bad night (4134)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS. http://tfl.nu/xkr3
  Replies (5) Good night (1104) Bad night (2627)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever. http://tfl.nu/5f06
  Replies (4) Good night (917) Bad night (1887)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  I booty called her while she was in labor.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): I booty called her while she was in labor. http://tfl.nu/82pd
  Replies (19) Good night (1334) Bad night (6256)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman" http://tfl.nu/5ocz
  Replies (9) Good night (1896) Bad night (940)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free http://tfl.nu/uzsl
  Replies (2) Good night (1760) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head. http://tfl.nu/1su5
  Replies (2) Good night (1065) Bad night (1035)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect http://tfl.nu/8hkz
  Replies (1) Good night (1036) Bad night (537)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night? http://tfl.nu/kr4w
  Replies (2) Good night (689) Bad night (1288)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched. http://tfl.nu/3b2v
  Replies (14) Good night (1290) Bad night (1590)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!" http://tfl.nu/ag1e
  Replies (1) Good night (542) Bad night (350)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal. http://tfl.nu/l222
  Replies (2) Good night (762) Bad night (531)

Randomize