Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors

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  (513): I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors http://tfl.nu/2p2o
  Replies (25) Good night (2849) Bad night (877)
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  (510): View more from California

  my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic

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  (510): my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic http://tfl.nu/11wq
  Replies (6) Good night (1107) Bad night (2381)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."

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  (614): If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers." http://tfl.nu/20g9
  Replies (6) Good night (1819) Bad night (658)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.

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  (401): I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls. http://tfl.nu/rm2y
  Replies (35) Good night (3497) Bad night (1042)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more

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  (856): I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more http://tfl.nu/kc45
  Replies (2) Good night (703) Bad night (1946)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.

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  (678): Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again. http://tfl.nu/y1d0
  Replies (32) Good night (1414) Bad night (6307)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.

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  (651): No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep. http://tfl.nu/9hze
  Replies (8) Good night (2420) Bad night (785)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.

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  (801): New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes. http://tfl.nu/3a1v
  Replies (5) Good night (1364) Bad night (517)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.

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  (506): I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside. http://tfl.nu/nmit
  Replies (2) Good night (511) Bad night (966)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.

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  (570): I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended. http://tfl.nu/azds
  Replies (1) Good night (982) Bad night (554)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face

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  (860): You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face http://tfl.nu/wwpz
  Replies (3) Good night (915) Bad night (649)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..

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  (306): They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult.. http://tfl.nu/9g45
  Replies (3) Good night (1057) Bad night (367)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.

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  (806): Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom. http://tfl.nu/49p8
  Replies (0) Good night (399) Bad night (326)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse

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  (646): Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse http://tfl.nu/lm6s
  Replies (0) Good night (535) Bad night (312)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  gay sex achievement: unlocked

  (1-780): View more from Alberta, CA

  what

  (1-780): View more from Alberta, CA

  you told me you were going out for groceries!!

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  (780): gay sex achievement: unlocked (1-780): what (1-780): you told me you were going out for groceries!! http://tfl.nu/rn26
  Replies (2) Good night (709) Bad night (210)

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