At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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