That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
