There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
