I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
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