i just had sex bonerless
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
