i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
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I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
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My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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