i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Damn victory sex feels great
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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