tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
