I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize