Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
