She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
