hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
