Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
