it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Randomize
