Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
