why didn't you poke me back
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
