Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
