She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
