i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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