So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize