whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
