I'm lost and stupid without you.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
