we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
So apparently I’m into choking now
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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