so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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