i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
