so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
