nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I hate all girls vehemently.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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