your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
