he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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