dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
