Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
