Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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