I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
