peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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