My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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