WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
