sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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