you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
This is my gift to your gina
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
