vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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