i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
The struggles of a small town man whore
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
