Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
