She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
