I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
