PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
