Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
