You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
