Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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