Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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