hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
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He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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