Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
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I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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