At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
