Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
