i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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