If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize